i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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