We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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