dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
