White coat. Heels.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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