Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
