I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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