You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
