I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
