I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
