I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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