she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
