i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
