brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
