he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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