i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
