no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
