i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
