If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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