Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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