so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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