I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
