DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
