He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
