im drinking this country out of the recession.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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