google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize