my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
