i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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