awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
