Fuck appropriateness.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
