I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
