No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
