were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
