There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
