His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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