i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
