Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
