You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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