how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize