u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Randomize
