Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm like, not good at living.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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