Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
