if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
