Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
