You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Actions speak louder than pants.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
