my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
