Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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