he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
