I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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