eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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