When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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