doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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