Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
