I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
