its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
