He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
