My liver just broke up with me...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
