I'm going to jail i love you
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
