You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
