break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just cropdusted the office
now i know why i became what i already was.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize