I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
