Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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