3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
