just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
