MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
