Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
