Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
