dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
