He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
